First generation refers to individuals who are the first in their families to be raised in a different country, the first to go to college or the first to leave their hometown.  In most cases, these individuals are dealing with dual identities.  The formation of dual identities occurs when an individual identifies with ethnic or family of origin principles and values while also identifying with norms of American values in schools, peers, life experiences, workplace, and mainstream media.

Dual identities can also be referred to as bicultural identities.  They  can serve you in powerful meaningful ways and they can also be the source of stress and internal conflict.  It is quite common to struggle with finding your authentic space when your upbringing may have had clashing ideals.  The conflict can occur if your parents worked hard to teach you their religious values, traditions and ceremonies which and they did not or do not validate you desire to participate in the other parts of your identity.

If you are the first one to go to school or leave your home town, you

• may feel the pressure to excel as the first in your family to make it to college.
• You may find it difficult to relate to your peers who do not share the experience of being a first-generation college student.
• You may have to learn the unspoken cultural norms and expectations of university life
• You may have to constantly explain the demands and rigors of college life to your friends and family.
• You may feel like your family of origin can not help you with your struggles.

As a first generation child of an immigrant,

• You may find yourself wanting to celebrate new traditions, teach your own children about other religions or participate in activities which you were not allowed to as a child.
• you may find it hard to find like-minded friends and community who understand what you are going through.
• You may feel overwhelmed, frustrated, high alert or constant anxiousness when you feel like no one understands
• You may start to feel hopeless, sad, or want to be alone
• You may have trouble attaching to your children.

There is a way to reconcile your dueling inner monologue.  A cultural affirming therapist can help you reflect and forge a way forward.  You can learn to connect the dots of your upbringing and make choices which honor all parts of your identity.